Tonight, i read write and type. Ramble with me?

I am entering the world of dating (re entering?) And this time I'm on the other side of the grass, it is the same shade of green, (though i swear the side i used to be on looks greener now...) The side i used to be on was casual observer. I have now hopped that fence, to the side of daring. The side of asking instead of being asked. Rather frightening stuff until you go through with it. Much like anything else i suppose. Indeed, like everything else. I am not entirely sure on how i am supposed to ask. I rather assume I'm to put on a face of assurance, bravado, grandeur or knowledge. Or am i to act shy and naive? (Attack of the naive knave!) Mayhaps one is to act like one's self.

I despise the modern day job hunt. It is a very stupid idea to make people buy clothes, to dress up, then forced into a nerve wracking thing people call an "interview" wearing clothes most are not accustomed to. How is one supposed to afford the semi formal clothes without said job? It's drawn out, it takes too much time, it begets irritation, and all in all it's just silly. One should employ because of who one is, not of how one dresses. Talk to one about what one likes, instead of looking at a piece of paper that was once a beautiful living thing to see the exact same thing. One should not be so worried about what another thinks about one, or the people chosen to talk to the public, or do something trivial that one would not rather do.

The key to avoiding disappointment is to have no expectations. If you expect nothing from anything, nothing can disappoint you. Nothing at all.

People assume you have no emotion, when you show none of the mentioned at a TV show of a little boy with a muscular disease that killed him. It is sad, yes. The boy did have a lot of good ideas that did come from his ailment. But the fact is, if he had the ailment without the disposition, he would not have made it on TV. If he had the disposition and no disease, he would not have made it either.
i could have the exact same look on life as he, and hardly anyone would care. Indeed adversity does make a person strong. But the fact is nearly nobody could care about the love of the world you preach, unless you are on the way to the deathbed. How would you attempt to even compare? Could you? Doubtful.

Decisions must be made, or thing cannot progress. The problem is i am two minds of nearly everything, and never being able to make your mind up about issues deemed serious in a week is vexing. Very vexing indeed. Do i accept and progress? Or do i deny, stay safe and rebuild. Perhaps i give free run and see what happens? After all, if it runs away it was never yours.

So much to live, so little desire to do so is what most people have. Living is hard. Life may be a bitch but i try my hardest to not go down without a fight.

I have made a point to start filling my life with curiousity. Cause and effect is a great thing to study, but as such i have deemed it to me to try (nearly) everything twice. Since one cannot form a real opinion if one does not try it. The same is true for talking. One should not talk unless one knows what they are talking about. So for a while, it has been try it once, dislike it. Try it again and give it a fair chance.

Stand for all that you will, wave your banner like a drowning man. Try new things. Take no prisoners unless opposition would do the same for you.

Musical greatness is what i aspire. To drown in a coma of music is the goal. Ready, set, go.

I ever do so hope that I'm not setting my self up for the most colossal let down i have worked my self up for. I would be really dejected with my self for allowing this moment of weakness, i can't even chalk this one up to stupidity since i have a very good idea what i'm attempting to toy with this time. That rush of hope was just too large to ignore. Fingers crossed.


Please let him be gay, please let him be gay, then if that works, please let me have a chance with him

When i get happy, i have a lot to be happy about. I'm young, white, and male. Living in North America. I have a big loving family. Two houses to be at if things go wrong. An amazing sister, a brother who i can be laid back with. A beautiful dog who follows me around out of sheer love. My family accepts me for who i am. I'm smart. I have friends who mean the world to me, and like me for me. I have a great twisted sense of humour and i can usually make people laugh with a quick dirty remark. I'm not poor, and i have always had a place to stay and rarely ever gone without eating due to lack of money. I'm healthy, nothing is really wrong with me aside from the asthma, and that is mostly gone. I am in good physical shape. As far as upper body strength goes i could do better. But i can walk across my city in about an hour. that isn't something a lot of people can do now a day. I can understand most problems with people, and i can try to help out, and when i do things usually work. I can read, i can write. I have the chance to use a computer every day. I went to high school. I am mostly free.

I have quite a bit to be happy about